EPISODE 17: “The Gigs of Jason”
Copyright ă George Poe Trio 2009. All rights reserved


Exterior shot: Plain office building, with possible passing auto or pedestrian traffic
Time stamp runs across bottom of frame



Interior shot: Matthew, in Domino's Pizza delivery uniform, paces back and forth across scene behind Lee who is seated in a chair in front of the room's single desk that holds only a circa 1975 speaker phone box. Both are awaiting CJ's call. Time stamp runs again but 1 minute later than before

Both ignore one another.


CIRCUS JOE McGillicutty from speaker phone
Angels! Angels!



Lee and Matthew look at one another and then at the speaker phone box




LEE
Circus Joe? Is everything alright?


CIRCUS JOE McGillicutty from speaker phone
Couldn't be better. I'm in Los Angeles, rooting for my favorite baseball team: the Los Angeles Angels.




LEE and MATTHEW
roll their eyes at one another knowingly. [ Canned Laughter ]




CIRCUS JOE McGillicutty from speaker phone
I'm glad you're at the office. I've just received an urgent fax from some lab or something, I dunno. The email cryptically says only 'REMEMBER THE GIGS OF JASON!'




LEE
What lab? And Who's JASON?




CIRCUS JOE McGillicutty from speaker phone
I have no idea but I'm certain it has something to do with your budding musical career. This might be the big break we've been waiting for.




LEE
We'll get right on it.




CIRCUS JOE McGillicutty from speaker phone
See that you do. Oh, and by the way, that check you sent was NSF.




MATTHEW
Oh, sorry about…Wait a minute. If you're at a baseball game, how are you getting a fax?




CIRCUS JOE McGillicutty from speaker phone

Gotta go! They're starting the 'wave' and I want to be a part of it.

(Line breaks off.)




LEE
Curtiss! Curtiss? Curtiss Charles Phlush, where are you?




CURTIS enters in full hip-hop regalia
Yo - whatzup my fishizzal McDrizzle? [ Canned Laughter ]




LEE
Would you please phone George at his work and fill him in on CJ’s news. (rubbing his hands together) We have another mystery to solve.




Cut to interior of EVERCORP.

Above the head of a gowned and gloved George the banner reads EVERCORP. 'We make EVERYTHING (and You Buy It)'




George is busy and diligent, stuffing cotton into aspirin bottles (which is a promotion from the toothpaste lid screwing job he had last episode).




LOUD SPEAKER overhead
Worker # 030893, Report to the factory office. You have a phone call. Worker # 030893, report to the office.




Cut to interior of facility where George picks up phone after phone until he finds the right one

GEORGE
Oh, hey! Curtiss (pause) CIRCUS JOE called? What's the 411? (pause) It's a hip-hop term. You know, all the kids are saying it. It means 'what's the low down? ‘The skinny’…What’s shakin’ - What's going on?' (pause) Size: thirteen and a half why? (pause) But he said there were too many of them to… (pause) Every day. Yes, it seemed like a lot to me when he said it, but I guess he’d know how much they could eat without... (pause) No, no, no… you have to select the Auxiliary button, then cable, then T.V. - Auxiliary / cable / T.V. (pause) It should show you that on the screen (pause – frustrated) I don’t know! Is that why you called or what? (pause) A mystery? (more intently – with purpose) I'm on my way. Meanwhile, have the guys consult with the GP5000 for any insight.



George peals off his jumpsuit to reveal he’s in a full suit underneath. He grabs his hat, and with a determined look, adjusts it on his head and busts through an exit door. This is followed by stupidly tedious shot(s) of George headed down a stairwell (this takes forever). He gets to the bottom only to pat his breast pocket and realize he left his keys upstairs. Dejected, he turns to the stairs and slowly starts the climb upwards. <Fade>




Cut to interior of office. <Time stamp runs across bottom of frame same time as first scene>

LEE is back in the chair and Matthew is ironing his shirt.




GEORGE enters to greetings.
Hi, guys. What did the GP5000 say?




MATTHEW
What does he always say? He told me my shirt was wrinkled. He told Lee that Dennis Rodman called and wanted his pimp jacket back. (sighs)




LEE to GEORGE
Why would he help us? He doesn't even like us.




GEORGE
Let me talk to him. I have a way with computers. Remember when I worked for Hewlett-Packard?




Cut to flashback of George under HP banner. George holds a paint brush and is painting letters on the keyboard of a computer.




Cut back to present. All three are looking in the air above the camera as if enjoying a group flashback.




LEE
Yeah, that was a good week.


All snap out of their revelry and exit room together.



Cut to interior of room next to office where GP5000 stands alone under low light. The three stop short and Lee and Matthew urge George to approach the GP5000. George approaches reluctantly.




GEORGE to GP5000
Hey, GP5000! You're looking all...updated.




GP5000
Cut the crap Poe. I'm busy working on my MYSPACE page.




GEORGE
Sorry. Have you given any more thought to what Matthew and Lee asked you about?




GP5000
Oh, you mean Barney Fife and his retarded brother?




GEORGE
Yeah. (pause) No! Lee and Matthew asked you a question? Are you gonna help us or not?




Cut to waist-up shots of Matthew and Lee arguing:

MATTHEW
I'm Barney. You're the retarded brother.




LEE
No. I'M Barney. YOU'RE the retarded brother.




MATTHEW
No, I'm Barney...




Cut back to George and GP5000

GEORGE
Couldn't you just give us a hint? (Looking back, over his shoulder, at Lee and Matthew)

I could talk to the guys again about opening up for us




GP5000
I'm passed that now. You had your chance. I'm gonna start my own band. (pauses royally) Robo-rock.



GEORGE
(Exasperated) Will you help us to solve this or not?




GP5000
(Mysterious) The answer is in the question

GEORGE
Huh?




GP5000
The question is the answer




GEORGE
I know you’re supposed to be from the future or whatever, but that doesn’t even make sense. Do you even know? Or are just makin’ stuff up to mess with us? Why did you come from the future again?

(Shot of GP5000 just sitting there not responding)

You’re not going to help us, are you?



GEORGE looks down and and back at GP5000.



Cut to waist-up shot of Lee and Matthew as George comes back to join them.




MATTHEW
Well, what did he say?




GEORGE
Looks like we're on our own on this one, guys.




MATTHEW
See? I told you guys he was a bad idea. He's gonna try to take over the band one day.




GEORGE
Let's try to stay focused here. There's a mystery to solve and our musical career hangs in the balance.




LEE and MATTHEW (Glaring in the robot’s direction)
Okay. (conceding) Alright.




The three joins hands or stack hands in some show of solidarity. (Hook hand) Insert catch phrase here.

From this position, they quickly break and head in different directions to search for clues about 'the gigs of JASON'.



Begin montage music.

The next scenes are a montage of the three in different locales.



Cut to interior of library

George sits in the library, surrounded by stacks of books, looking up Jason and the Argonauts



Cut to parking lot, outside, daylight. Lee gets out of his van and walks into a storefront.

Camera pans up to show Jason's Deli logo.



Cut to interior of Blockbuster Video.

Matthew approaches checkout desk with a pile of Friday the 13th videos. Puts them on counter.



Cut back to George at library. It seems he may have discovered something



Cut to interior of Jason's Deli where Lee is asleep in a booth.

Cut to identical Exterior shot: Plain office building, with possible passing auto or pedestrian traffic. <Time stamp runs across bottom of frame an hour or so earlier than first scene>



This time, Matthew and George are at the office before Lee. (The scene begins in mid-conversation)




GEORGE
(Bewildered) …so you’re saying there were two different Darrens?

Matthew nods as he is working on an involved needlepoint project.


GEORGE
By the way, you misspelled sarcophagus
Matthew grimaces

Both look up as LEE enters, carrying a veggie tray apparently from Jason's Deli.




Lee takes a seat in his regular chair, absorbed in his veggie tray and not offering to share any.




GEORGE
Well, I guess we all know where Lee has been. Matthew, did you find out anything?




MATTHEW
I went into some pretty extensive research on this one, guys, but I couldn't come up with anything. What about you?




GEORGE
Nothing.



George and Matthew look to Lee as if expecting an offer but none comes. Lee does not even look up from the veggie tray.




BUTLER CURTISS enters with a piece of paper in hand.

(IN RAP SPEAK) Sirs, This fax from Mr. CIRCUS JOE while you were out. (hands fax to Matthew who is nearest)




MATTHEW looking at the fax
This is the same information CIRCUS JOE told us he got.

But is can't be an incoming fax. There's no time or date on it.




BUTLER CURTISS
But it was in the fax machine. [ Canned Laughter ]




MATTHEW
In it or on it?


BUTLER CURTISS
Fo-Whatz?


MATTHEW
Well, if it was on the fax machine, then it must have been sent to CIRCUS JOE from here.
(pause) and that means...




ALL THREE
Acoordi-Ann!




BUTLER CURTIS
(IN RAP SPEAK) The band's nemesis, sirs?




GEORGE
There very same, Curtiss. She has apparently breached our security system and is sending faxes from our machine.




MATTHEW
And doing who knows what else.




Pause in dialogue as all three look at each other.




GEORGE
Or maybe one of us isn't who they say they are.




Series of close-ups of every pair of eyes in the room. Eyes cutting from right to left in suspicion.

Mister Potato head on the desk is shown.

Matthew's needlepoint needle is shown. (a big Egyptian eye symbol)
Pirate with eye patch
Back to the George’s eyes more intense
Then Lee’s

Matthew’s eyes are drowsy now
Close-up of Ray Charles picture on wall (eyes with shades)

End with the GP5000 eyes and his disgusted sigh




LEE to MATTHEW
Matthew? If that is your real name, when was the very first gig we ever played as a trio?




MATTHEW
Well, you guys know I don't know anything about dates.




LEE
HA! Just the kind of thing an imposter would say.




MATTHEW to GEORGE
Well, what about YOU? You named the trio after your alias. What are you hiding?




GEORGE
I'm not hiding anything. I always wanted to name the band the nig. (he interrupts himself with a conclusion) Lee's the one who doesn't like to be mentioned in any of the blogs. What are you running from, Lee?




LEE to MATTHEW (pointing)
What about you!?




MATTHEW to LEE
What ABOUT me?




LEE to MATTHEW
(Disgusted) President of the… the… HAZELNUTS!




MATTHEW to LEE
You promised you would never tell anybody that.




GEORGE to MATTHEW
Wait a minute! You told me that you were president of the Hazelnuts AND that you had never told anybody else before.




MATTHEW (admitting)
Admittedly, I have played one against the other at times.




CURTISS
(IN RAP SPEAK) What, Mr. Matthew, is a Hazelnut? If I might ask.




GEORGE to CURTISS (after Matthew’s uncomfortable silence)
It's the national Shirley Booth Fan Club.




CURTISS
(shocked and disappointed) Fo-shizal-dizzle! [ Canned Laughter ]




GEORGE
Enough of this nonsense. We all know each other. We've had a breach in security and Circus Joe's business is on the line. Not to mention our music careers. Let's review the bunker's video surveillance tapes to see who got in and how.




ALL EXIT




Interior. Security office. The trio and Curtiss are seated around the monitor.

The first view seconds of the video are fine until the video monitoring ceases and shows poor, bootleg copy of Friday the 13th part 6.




GEORGE
Matthew, why do I think you had something to do with this?




MATTHEW
I didn't have time to watch all of them, so I copied this one for later.



GEORGE
You idiot! It's as if...

George quickly becomes captivated in the film and unable to look away.

All join in the watching of the video.



Shot of clock on the wall advancing time followed by a shot over guys clapping for the end of the film. Trio sits at viewing console. The veggie tray is finished.




MATTHEW
The film is obviously a social statement.



LEE
I'll agree but the character of Jason is a metaphor. He represents the struggle of the inner man in the modern milieu.



GEORGE
You both missed it. It's a playful tale; kind of hide and seek on film – but with a lot more killing. Aimed more at the heart than at the head.




MATTHEW
You know the Friday the 13th movies were inspired by the success of John Carpenter's 1978 movie, Halloween. The original was made for a little over $500,000.00 but grossed over $39.7 million. It's one of the most profitable slasher films in cinema history; it was also the first movie of its kind to secure distribution in the USA by a major studio.


GEORGE
How do you know all that?

MATTHEW
The GP5000 told me.


GEORGE
He’ll tell you all that but won’t help us figure who Jason is or how we can contact him?

LEE
Curtiss, when does the next Friday the 13th happen?


George moves over to the calendar on the wall. As he's flipping through the months to find the answer,




MATTHEW blurts
'Wait! Let me see that!


GEORGE hands the calendar to him.



MATTHEW
Notice anything funny about this calendar?




GEORGE flip through the pages.
Uh... Lee has a colonoscopy on the 12th next month?
(to Lee) I thought you did that last spring.




LEE
Well, I haven't been feeling like myself lately.




GEORGE (mockingly)
You don’t feel like yourself down there? Then who do you feel like down there?




LEE
You can't be too careful, you know.



MATTHEW interrupting
Guys! That's not it. Look at the months. Each month starts with a letter of J A S O N




LEE and GEORGE
Huh?




MATTHEW
Look: J for JULY. A for AUGUST. S for September, etc.

GEORGE
Huh? There were two Darens?



LEE sheepishly
Uh, Guys...I just remembered, I wrote that.



GEORGE and MATTHEW
What!?!


LEE
I wrote Remember the Gigs for the months July-November. and I faxed it to CJ to remind him.


MATTHEW
But what was the thing about the lab?


LEE
Oh...those are my initials L-A-B.



GEORGE pointing to Curtiss who is wearing a homemade amour that any Argonaut would be proud to wear.

Well, what I am going to do with this!?! [ Canned Laughter ]




Waist-up shots of trio laughing.

Individual headshots of trio members laughing a little too hard and a little too long.




GP5000 disgusted, grumbles


Waist-up shots of trio laughing again, this time at GP5000


Same shot, now from the closet in the corner.




Camera zooms out to become POV shot from Accordi-Ann, spying on the trio from inside the bunker. Eerie music on the soundtrack rises as a devilish laugh emits from the old accordion-playing hag. The guys are unaware. Fade to black.


Background music: beginning of one of trio's songs.


Open to screen full of “Normalizers” logo on Lee's bass drumhead. Camera trucks backward to show full trio in concert playing wholly unrelated song. Various headshots of band members playing and smiling. If possible, several audience members enjoying themselves and one another as the band plays.


Band fades out on stage with applause superimposed.


Cue theme music and credits.