Three Grown Men Play Footsies Together On a Saturday Night
July 14th, 2007: Art Walk Outdoor Exhibit – Galveston, Texas

      The guys are invited out to the island again; this time to play outside of an upscale shoe boutique called Footsies. Since George is vacationing with his family at a beach house in the Galveston area, the group decides to meet up at the event.

      In order to protect the band’s equipment from Houston ’s rainy weather, Lee and Matthew wrap the gear in trash bags. Since there’s not a bag large enough for the upright bass, it’s placed in the backseat with Matthew. The case of the instrument completely obscures Lee’s vision of the right side of the vehicle. Matthew hands Lee a CD of A MONTH OF SUNDAYS and begins to discuss the tracks. And although Lee can not see any part of Matthew, the conversation is unhindered (Lee is used to hearing disembodied voices- so it’s okay).

      On the other side town, George prepares for the engagement by listening to a mix of Tom Waits’ HEART ATTACK & VINE, an R.E.M. project with Warren Zevon called HINDU LOVE GODS, and Jamie Cullum. (Thanks Melinda for the tunes).

      George arrives to the spot first and meets a seemingly pleasant local accordion player named Shelia Spracklen Lee ( www.anet4u.com/musician.html ) on the corner of the store front. She says that she regularly plays this area for tips from passer-bys. Shelia’s new Roland accordion sounds warm and wonderful as George sets up the sound system and piano; so much so, that he asks her if she’d like to join in for a few tunes when the band plays in front of the shoe store. He points towards the tent that Footsies has set up for the group and Shelia seems be on board wit the idea. (He will later discover that this is all just a ploy by her to get near the group for malicious purposes.)

      Just then Lee arrives but Matthew is nowhere to be seen…oh wait…he’s under the bass case. The three scurry like ants to unload the rest of the equipment from the truck. The guys have not been together since the last gig a couple of weeks ago so a bit of a reunion quickly ensues. The three set up as if they are sailors hoisting up the sails of a clipper ship. Everything rapidly snaps into place – until George produces the mic adapter that Matthew has asked him to pick up. Apparently, George can not tell male plugs from female plugs (with adapters that is). He has brought not one, but two completely unusable adapters that connect male-to-female. Matthew needs the exact opposite. George has severely miscalculated, and likewise, Matthew has severely miscalculated by entrusting a technical task like this to George.

      But wait…all is not lost; for some unknown reason Lee has bought a mic. “Are you serious?” asks George “That’s Great!” until he sees the mic. “Yeah, I got this for $1.00” Lee proudly responds. Matthew and George look at the mic then back to each other. George begins to laugh uncontrollably at the mic that looks like a Fisher-Price flea market knock off. “Lee, It’s plastic, and it’s…BLUE!” he fights the laughter. Matthew looks down at the male-to-female adapter in his hand. Lee attempts to defend: “I tried it before I left. It’ll work”. “But Lee, you’re not an upright bass - the tones are much, much lower than your speaking voice.” “I tried it –it’ll be fine” HOW much did you pay for it?” “I got it for a dollar.” Matthew proceeds to set it up, but the only thing it seems to amplify is feedback.

      Meanwhile, Shelia the accordion player is heckling the guys: “I don’t have to use a mic, I’ve got everything I need right here.” At first, it’s mildly amusing and the guys play along. But by the 3rd or 4th refrain of “I don’t have to use speaker with this. It’s all built in” the guys have moved on to flat ignoring her; And there is NOTHING worse than being heckled by an accordion player with an attitude.  

     Regina from the shoe store has come out twice now to see why there is no music yet –it’s after 6:00! Shelia the accordion player starts up her comedy bit again. Now a reasonable person would have abandoned this nonsense a while ago, but Matthew’s determination pays off: He stacks the bass amplifier sideways on the top of one of the gig cases. Then by plugging the mic directly in the input without a cord and without an adapter, ‘presto’ a rich, full, bass sound resonates from the speaker cabinet. It looks ridiculous but sounds great. In fact, the trio’s sound together is the best that it has ever been. Clear, crisp, and precise, with every part in its own space. It’s golden. Ha - Take that Shelia! George gives Lee $2.00 to buy the mic from him. Lee, a bit bewildered, agrees. George smashes the little toy microphone under his foot into 20 or so pieces.

      It’s 6:24 when the downbeat of SITTING ON THE DOCK OF THE BAY arrives. JaRue and Joyce, the owners of Footsies, are pleased. The walk up traffic for the store triples. George decides not to do the Lady Bird Johnson tribute (who has just passed away). The original idea was to play the Kenny Rodgers song LADY and change the words. George feels that it may be in bad taste – not the tribute parody… but to play a Kenny Rodgers tune.

          Lee is dissatisfied with his new cymbal, but worse than that he has come across a free six pack of a drink called Enviga. It’s a sparkling green tea soft drink . The fact that he got these for free says it all; these things are basically a dare from the Nestle/Coca Cola Company to their distributors. This drink tastes worst than what you would expect carbonated seagull urine would be like. George curiously agrees to take a sip of one and regrets it. He suggests that if the trio were to go on a national tour, they should be sponsored by Enviga.

      After a few songs, Shelia the accordion player decides that she can make more tips by playing at the city park. Lee and George secretly hope that she is attacked by bears in the park. Not to harm her, but that they’ll make off with her beer stein and battery-powered red accordion.  

     The trio is kicking now. They are in the pocket, and the crowd of passer-bys respond. Some couples even burst into spontaneous dance for a few tunes. But two-year old Madison takes the cake: The band plays BROWN-EYED GIRL for her as she claps and dances about in front of the ‘stage’.

      As the band takes a break, Lee realizes that his wallet is missing. He searches for it over a three block radius to find it – but no luck. Finally, a call is made to his wife, Loretta. It was at home all along. “Whew.” Across the street there is some guy dressed like Neo from The Matrix movies leading 20-30 people around and pointing at things. A very curious sight. George decides now is the perfect time to unleash the ‘shoe medley’.  The three blast through DIAMONDS ON THE SOLES OF HER SHOES/ BLUE SUEDE SHOES / THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR WALKIN’ / OLD BROWN SHOE. And the guys definitely do what has become the band’s latest catch phrase as they “Put some Bigelow on it!”  

    Sabrina arrives with George’s kids and Mary (his mother). Sabrina has brought some much needed bug spray to keep the mosquitoes at bay. George gets the guys to play the Billy Joel song SHE’S GOT A WAY . George’s family stay for a few songs then head down to the shops along the Strand .  

     It’s almost closing time now. The group introductions come during the Jackson Brown hit DOCTOR, MY EYES. Matthew breaks into an unplanned improvised scat session to cover for some technical difficulties George is experiencing. This, plus Matthew’s delivery of wildebeest facts during his introduction, and the whole sideways amplifier mic thing, earns him the MVP title of the night. The group closes with I’LL BE SEEING YOU. Matt has developed two blisters on his fingers. Lee secretly has an ulcer in mouth (no doubt from the five cans of Enviga).  

     The guys are approached by an interesting assortment of people eager to chat and pick up promo packs. First a resident of Hawaii , then a female singer who has performed in clubs in Prague nearby where Matthew used to live, she tells of how her husband recorded with Harry Conick Sr. They meet Bess from www.dvinewineonthestrand.com  encourages the guys to attend a wine tasting and have a wine label named after the band (talk about puttin’ some Bigelow on it!). One guy talks to Matthew about the diminutive size of his upright bass. “It not the size of the bass, it’s what you do with it” chimes George.

     Lee hears reports of a severe storm overtaking Houston so the three re-wrap the equipment in trash bags and say farewell. As George heads towards the Bolivar ferry to Crystal Beach, Matthew crawls back into his cubby hole in the back floorboard of the truck cab. Lee pops the tab on his last can of Enviga and heads into the heart of the storm.

 

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